TAROTThe Lovers
Upright
Relationships, partnerships, and the choices they entail.
Deeper relationships between the self and anything ‘other’.
Intuition
The Lovers on this card are not the more usual Adam and Eve but the prior story of Eros and Psyche, the archetypal love story.
It is also seen as an allegory for the relationship between the soul and the divine.
Reversed
Disharmony and imbalance in relationships and partnerships.
Failure to understand the cost of relationships. Past regret or a chance to fix a current relationship.
Astrologia
Adaptable, intellectually curious. A good communicator and sociable. Can be poor at expressing their inner thoughts and may lack commitment, or be prone to indecision.
The Lovers
The Lovers card suggests upcoming choices. A new love, an existing marriage or partnership, or complex either-or dilemmas.
An important, often overlooked aspect of the Lovers is that, as a Major Arcana card, its domain is the inner self and your personal journey. The Major Arcana rarely refer directly to other people (that is the purpose of the Minor Arcana), except to highlight the effect a person has on your inner world.
The Lovers card does not merely predict a new romance or partnership; it highlights the internal choices you must make regarding them, and how those choices will shape you. The other side of choosing something is sacrificing or passing on something else. Choice is rarely a simple matter of one thing over another; it is a duality:
- Duality implies a balance between opposites, and this balance is complex. Do you pick one path, compromise in the middle, or decide to do nothing? In making that choice, who are you actually trying to please? It is rarely simple.
- Duality also requires communication between the two parts. Open communication is necessary to maintain balance. If you cannot achieve perfect balance, you must at least find agreement. Relationships where one side dictates all the choices do not end well.
- Finally, true duality means satisfying both sides so that real growth occurs. This happens when you transform an either-or dilemma into a solution based on understanding, rather than simply picking A over B. This synthesis is the highest expression of the Lovers card, as only deep understanding can elevate connection to divine love.
There is a wonderful myth in the tale of Eros related to this balance. Aphrodite complained to Themis (Goddess of Justice) that the young Eros refused to grow, remaining a baby. Themis suggested Eros be given a brother: Anteros, or 'Love Returned'. Eros would not grow, and would even regress to infancy, unless his brother was near.
A relationship with an unbalanced flow of love, or one based solely on carnal desire (an 'unjust love' that dishonors Themis), will never mature. It will inevitably devolve into infantile arguments. Psyche ultimately dispels this curse on Eros, because she represents the deeper completion of love: the union of body and mind.
Eros and Psyche
The story of Eros and Psyche contains a multitude of story plots that are reused in many later stories and fables:
- The Beauty and the Beast takes its source from the first part of Psyche and Eros’s story. In the myth the Beast is described as so fearsome, resourceful and cunning that even the Gods themselves are powerless against it. That beast is Love, aka Eros. So the 'Beast' actually turns out to be a handsome God.
- The Snow Queen and other tales where the heroine undergoes a number of seemingly impossible trials before being reunited with her love is based on Psyche’s trials.
- Cinderella contains some of the same themes as the story of Eros and Psyche; wicked sisters and impossible trials.
Even if one does not know the original myth, the archetypes permeate culture. They represent the recognition that love transcends all obstacles and is the fuel the soul uses to return to its true other half, irrespective of distance or trial. The archetype making this journey is usually feminine, suggesting the soul itself is fundamentally feminine.
The relationship between Eros and Psyche carries a much deeper symbolism than simple romance. Eros represents Love at first sight and carnal love (his name is the root for words such as erotic and eroticism). Psyche represents the mind or soul (her name is where we get words such as psychic and psychology). ‘Psyche’ actually means ‘butterfly’, and the ancients likened its lifecycle from caterpillar to pupa to butterfly as the journey of the soul during life and on after death.
The marriage of Eros and Psyche is therefore symbolic of a number of much deeper concepts and very common plots:
- The Connection of Body and Mind: The true Lovers archetype is the Sacred Marriage (Hieros Gamos) of the god and goddess within, representing the union of our two halves: the physical body and the conscious mind.
- The Struggle of the Soul: The quest to find a missing half or achieve divine bliss. Early Christendom viewed the Eros and Psyche myth as an allegory for the soul’s search for the Divine. Modern romance literature suggests your 'missing half' is out there, but trials and plot twists inevitably stand in the way. The narrative often begins with the heroine accepting the easy, trial-free choice offered by the 'Ordinary World'. Circumstances then force a leap toward the right choice, demanding she engage in trials, cast away repressions, and discover her true Self.
- There can be no meaningful love without trust, will, and effort. These trials are a form of baptism related to self-discovery: you cannot truly love and understand another until you first love and understand yourself.
- You must love yourself first. Often, the original point of attraction is merely a catalyst to propel the hero out of the 'Ordinary World' (a concept discussed further in The Fool card). In film, this initial object of desire is called a MacGuffin. The real story is always one of self-discovery and finding a higher Truth. Real life is full of people, goals, and sought-after prizes that ultimately reveal themselves to be MacGuffins, serving only to start us on our true path. Irrespective of how deeply you love others, remember your story is always your own.
At the end of the story of Eros and Psyche, the previously mortal Psyche is now a Goddess; her struggle for love has made her immortal.
Description and Symbology
The card depicts a man and a woman in a beautiful paradise setting. Both appear as if they have just emerged from sleep or shed their clothing, representing honesty, openness, and sensuality.
Two fast-flowing waterfalls cascade directly behind them, symbolizing the strong, torrential emotions of first love and the early stages of a relationship.
This water collects into a slower, bucolic stream at their feet. The two falls have completely merged into one current. This illustrates the shape of love as it matures: no longer two separate, volatile forces, but a single, peaceful flow designed to last.
The man holds a bow, with a quiver of arrows resting by his side. These are the symbols of Eros, the god of 'love at first sight' and carnal desire.
The woman points upward. On her raised finger rests a butterfly, an ancient symbol of the soul that shares her name: Psyche. She is the personification of the mind and spirit.
Her story is the archetypal fairy tale, resulting in a happy ending only after significant trials. It is a profound allegory for the relationship between the carnal body and the higher soul. It represents the journey toward the divine, fueled by the search for deep, spiritual love.
Symbol for the Lovers
This symbol is made up of the Greek letter psi for Psyche. At its base, we see an upward curve that resembles Eros’s bow. The bow turns the psi into a goblet-like shape resembling a cup (and the Tarot sign for emotion). Thus, Psyche and Eros together become a symbol for love.
Flowing Water representing the stages of love
At the top of the image, we see two waterfalls above and behind the heads of both Eros and Psyche. The water here flows powerfully and quickly. Eventually, over the passage of time and distance, this water ends up as a small and gently meandering stream by the feet of Eros and Psyche. The water has slowed considerably, but now flows as one body. In the same way, the exciting passions of young love give way to the slower but more stable love that comes with older age.
Psyche’s butterfly
Psyche has a butterfly on her raised hand. The name for butterfly in ancient Greek, ‘psyche’, represents the mind or soul. Psyche’s hand points upwards towards the sky.
Eros’s Bow and arrows
Eros has a bow in one hand. We see a quiver of arrows below the bow.
Setting
The background contains many flowers in shades of white to red, representing romance. The location may be Elysium, a place reserved for those whose heroic life makes them especially blessed by the Gods. Elysium is also often used today as a pagan or non-religious-specific term for Paradise. It is also used often in poetry, literature, and marketing to allude to paradise or a paradise-on-earth.
Tips for Readings
The following table shows the upright and reverse meanings for general questions. The last row ('Yes/No') is useful when you are picking a single card to decide a yes or no decision.
Upright
Reversed
Expect a loving relationship and nurturing partnerships.
If this is an existing relationship, expect it to go through a positive phase, or turn the corner into a better relationship.
A new relationship will get off to a good start.
Harmony in your major relationships.
A lack of understanding and harmony.
Lack of a spark, possibly because of a poor match leading to separation, or both parties having their own agenda.
An inability to give each other room to grow, either through lack of understanding or lack of trust.
A lack of meeting of mind and body. Different shapes can magically fit together as a whole in some relationships, but unfortunately, this is not one of them.
Expect good relationships with co-workers or partners in a business deal. There will be good communication and trust.
Strong friendships that may become longstanding relationships
A toxic work environment.
There may be a break-down of partnerships.
Possible personality clashes or souring of personal relationships.
For new business ventures, check all parties are on the same page on expected outcome and what a good result looks like.
Health through loving yourself and having a healthy body image.
The Lovers literally symbolize mind and body. Both in perfect balance is the ideal of good health.
Health problem caused by mind and body not being connected.
Overwork or not looking after one over the other.
Possible health issues caused by boredom and a life that does not satisfy; consuming as an easy fix, or attempting to change yourself to meet expectations of others.
Spiritual connections centered on divine love; you have to love yourself before you can be loved.
This involves self-reflection and being satisfied with yourself in terms of both body and mind.
Problems caused by being unsatisfied with yourself or being pushed into a shape that is not you.
Your current path is not working; make space to create a version of yourself that you can love. Nobody can love you if you do not first love yourself.
Profit will occur through collaboration and partnerships with others.
Success will come as long as you communicate with business partners and are all on the same page.
Tread carefully and make sure you know where any business plans with others are headed.
Yes, through harmony and love or respect with others.
No, through disharmony with others.
The Lovers represents a move from the global themes of the Hierophant to the personal level. It defines how you interpret the Hierophant’s themes of agreed conventions and spiritual growth through the lens of your own relationships. It highlights the relationship between body and soul.
When The Lovers is paired with another Major Arcana card, that second card often refers not to you, but to the relationship and its effect on your future. For example, The Lovers and The Fool implies an unexpected new relationship. The Lovers and The Empress indicates a time of growth and abundance within a partnership (if family is part of the question, children may be on the way).
When the Lovers card is seen with Minor Arcana, the Minor Arcana give indication of the ‘who’ and ‘what’. For example, a reversed royal may denote a missing energy within the relationship (communication, passion, wealth, etc.).
A particular combination for new relationships is the Lovers and knight cards. The knights give indication on what to expect from the other partner.
The Upright Card
The Upright Lovers denotes a new connection, or the deepening of an existing one. It always represents a positive outlook in partnerships. Although the name suggests romance, this is true only if the question asked is specifically about love.
If the question concerns something entirely different, the card suggests the successful way forward will involve a partnership. For example, if the question is about turning a business around, The Lovers denotes that forming a new business connection is part of the solution.
The Lovers card can refer to change in an existing relationship via a period of strengthening. You may see of better communication, deeper sharing and trust, and in relationships of love or greater sexual energy.
More importantly, The Lovers suggests you must be clear about what you are willing to give up to fuel this growth. Surrounding cards may indicate the nature of this sacrifice and it is important to dwell on this card with that balance in mind. The Lovers is often a life-changing card; thinking through both the gains and the losses ensures the correct choice is made.
The Reversal
A Reversed Lovers card represents disharmony. This does not always relate to a romantic partner; it depends entirely on your question.
For example, if you ask about feeling lost or unmotivated in your career, the root source is clear: while you may still be good at your job, you are no longer 'in love' with it. The passion is gone.
The Reversal suggests that the feelings in the relationship are no longer mutual. This does not automatically mean the relationship will end. In fact, this can be a highly helpful reading: surrounding cards will pinpoint the root cause, illuminating the process of fixing it. Again, the Major Arcana describe the relationship itself, while the Minor Arcana indicate the 'who' and 'what'.
A repeated Reversed Lovers card can be a harbinger of regret. You made a decision without fully appreciating the balance of the action. The Lovers is always about the tension between what is gained and what is lost. What is gone may be gone forever, but your next choice will be better informed. View the card not as a bad omen, but as a message: 'You need to heal from this'. Surrounding cards will offer a route toward that healing.
Card Design Process
The card is designed to add a level of ambiguity in that Psyche and Eros could be engaged in one of two situations. Either:
- They have literally just come up from the covers and are looking into each other’s eyes, deeply in love, or
- The scene corresponds to the period after the marriage of Eros and Psyche; they are constantly together and inseparable, so Eros is no longer making other people fall in love. Aphrodite has told him to mend this situation. Thus, Eros is raising his bow and muttering about his job. Psyche is glaring at Eros and saying words to the effect of ‘so you already listen to your mother more than me?’.
Which scenario it is depends entirely on what the reader sees. And yes, as mentioned previously: complex choices.
Secondly, the image was designed to show figures representing the idealized perfection seen in ancient Greek statues, and the depictions of Eros and Psyche were taken from mood boards consisting of such images.
Final Words
This card represents relationships, partnerships, and spiritual connections. It always also signifies choices and their effects.
